The Need to Live A Slow Life
Ever feel like life is more of a checklist of things we need to go through?
In this day an age, it almost feels like there are big numbers attached to our identities. It seems like society’s measure of how great our life is can be determined by how productive we are, or how much we are expressing ourselves. Many people nowadays attempt to monetize their hobbies, and apparently, if you aren’t doing the same thing, you are falling behind. Same goes in a the workplace; if you aren’t grinding your way up the ladder, then you are losing the rat race. In relationships? same story: if you aren’t finding the partner of your dreams, then you are wasting away.
We wake up everyday and schedule ourselves like mad. We often over-plan to the point where there is no longer leeway for us to squeeze in the time for ourselves, and it all seems like one long list of errands that need to be completed. Whatever happened to doing things just for the heck of it? What happened to pure enjoyment of life, and the ability to focus on what’s truly important?
Observing One’s Self
Socializing is very important to everyone, and the key to living a meaningful life full of knowledge, inspiration and love.
The only issue is, too much of it can make you lose yourself. Back in the middle-ages, most people spent their free time in silence and reflection. Given that we live in a fast-paced digital world, we often subconsciously block out all these opportunities to be reflective. It might be considered extremely difficult to just sit there in a room, and just be present with yourself. I say “difficult”, since people aren’t really used to being put idle and being present and observant to their own thoughts and feelings; this is what we call “boredom”. The typical reaction of humans in this generation is to immediately feed their troubled and bored psyches with non-directional entertainment.
A great example of this is scrolling through social media like FB or IG. We are not asking nor requesting for the content we see on our feeds, but we are simply tolerating all the useless posts, news and memes that don’t have any positive impact to us whatsoever, for the simple reason being we have nothing better to do with the free time we have. This is in contrast to other platforms like YouTube, where (for the most part) we actually choose what we want to see via the search bar. In platforms like these, there is no “need to know” urgency, and you are free to expand your knowledge the way you choose.
In retrospect, these idle moments in life are what breed our artists, musicians and writers. Having a blank canvas in the mind is an opportunity to let free the mind to think away, eventually leading up to a realization or inspiration amidst to turbulent nature of the subconscious.
This is one reason why the practice of meditation has caught on in Western cultures, since it gives people the headspace they need to go about their daily lives. Contrary to popular belief, it isn’t just about sitting there doing nothing, but rather, it is about observing the mind and body. Just by doing this practice for 10 minutes a day can give you a better sense of mental clarity; you can finally see clearly the thoughts that have been bothering, exciting, stimulating or depressing you, and this can give you the necessary reflection points to be a better person to yourself and the people around you.
An Itchy Feeling
If you feel an itch on the body, have you ever tried not scratching it and instead just observing it? Sounds insane right? But hear me out. When a human or animal feels an itch, they scratch it immediately to relieve themselves of the discomfort. That reflex is bounded in our heads. It is a “muscle” that always attempts to bat away the discomfort we feel. This logic can also be applied to seemingly unrelated things like the way we go about our interactions with people, our craft and many more. How much do we attempt to compulsively get rid of discomfort in our lives? Do we distract ourselves too much by over-indulging in entertainment? or maybe vices like alcohol, nicotine or sex?
Its time to ask ourselves; are we spending 100% of our waking hours on things we actually care about and love doing, or are we just wasting away on cheap thrills and distractions that do nothing but distract us from our Ikigai or life purpose?
Balance Is Key
There is a clear boundary between work and play, but have you ever considered making work your “play”?
If you are not enjoying what you are doing, then you are obviously wasting your life. If you are forcing a relationship you don’t even enjoy, then you are wasting your life. Every person has a different set of ideals and standards of what is “good” or “fun” depending on our upbringing. It’s best to keep in mind the options you have to either make yourself love your work even more, or find work that you actually love. A drastic decision like moving to a different country requires a balance of thoughts to find our whether or not the choice is worth it. You can’t just look at the rose-tinted positive side, without looking at the realistic aspects as well.
There needs to be a strike in balance for the way we live our lives. Too much work and socializing will leave us with stress and mental strain, while too much self-isolation can turn us into self-entitled sociopaths.
Who Are You Living For?
In the book “Mindset” by Carol Dweck, she outlined how there are two main mindsets that determine fulfillment in life.
First we have the fixed mindset. This is when all you have been doing in life is attempting to prove your worth, and fulfillment is determined by whether or not you made it. An example of this is a high-achieving student who is only studying and working hard to prove that he/she is worthy of the recognition of being “smart” or “productive”. This mindset if concerned about the “ends” rather than the “means”. This thwarts any opportunity for growth or self exploration since it limits the mindset to conform with standards.
On the other hand, we have the growth mindset, which is focused finding fulfillment and purpose in life. A growth mindset finds meaning in self-discovery and learning rather than the cumulative outcome of all his/her actions. This type of thinking frees a person from any form of internal pressure or expectation to achieve a goal. Instead of life being a “grocery list” or chores, a growth mindset sees it as more of a “window-shopping” experience. Who are we living for? Why are we working and studying hard? Why do we do the things we do?
Are we doing these things just to prove others that we are worthy of the title “talented”, “productive”, “smart”, “ideal”, “beautiful” …? Or are we doing all of these things for the sole purpose of our enjoyment and appreciation of life’s mysterious beauty.
Remember the excitement you feel when you are about to embark on a road trip? While sat there in the car, you enjoy watching the scenery pass you by as you appreciate the new environment. It almost feels like the journey is as exciting as the destination itself.
In life, it doesn’t quite work that way. There is only one destination, and that is the end. Some people live it too fast and regret to notice all the beautiful scenery and fellow travelers passing them by every moment. It may seem hard to believe, but the reality is, we are actually the ones in control, and all it takes is the will to put words into action.
