Slow Living in an Age of Rush
It’s so easy to be caught up living someone else’s path, where we forget our own.
I’m 21 years old, and am in the finishing stages of my degree. Around a decade ago, it was typical for people of this age to simply chill, focus on studies, and enjoy college social life. Now things are so much different.
Times are different now
As you probably already know by now, we live in a burnout culture. Everyone seems to be grinding for more, more, more, and this is especially true for the younger people (Gen Zs in particular).
One may set high goals, and upon completing them, set even higher goals; it is a cycle that never ends. The sky is the limit, until people come up with more ways to break that limit. It never seems enough, simply because greed is never enough.
Through media, we are constantly bombarded with glimpses of those who did something society considers remarkable. A teenager starting a nonprofit, an influencer becoming the CEO of their own company, the 18 year old Olympic gold medalist, and so on. Such stimulants cost us heavily since they distance us from the thought of being enough.
Sure, they can inspire — but in the culture we have now, such inspiration breeds resentment, jealousy, and self-hatred. It is absolutely terrible since all we see are case studies and examples of highlights. We rarely get to see stories of people being okay with committing mistakes, and living slow. When there are stories of mistakes and failure, it is often branded as something catastrophic; something to be avoided and to be ashamed of.
In our own lives, we may also see that everyone seems to be preoccupied with something. As young as late teenage years or early-20s, we see people who are already starting their own businesses, engaged in a side-hustle, creating content, racking up popularity, and so on. While these things are great, I would like to point out the fact that a lot of people feel compelled to do these things for reasons outside of true love.
It seems that just being a simple college student who’s just “riding the waves” and figuring things out as he goes a long is no longer enough. Gone are the days where there are no pressures for people who admit that they are still “figuring things out”, as society expects us to be put together all the time. The underlying message now goes along the lines of “if you aren’t doing something, you are nothing”
A lot of the burnout and constant rushing by many Gen Z individuals stems from the fact that we forget everyone has their own path. Life may be short, but in reality it is actually pretty long. Time is not our enemy (unlike what the self help books tell us), but rather our best friend. You can indeed build your business — but only in your own time. You can indeed pursue that side hustle — but only in your own time. You need to allow yourself the time to grow, develop, and mature in your own pace.
When you keep trying to “force it” and push harder, what ends up happening is premature development, leaving you even more lost and confused as to the direction of your life than before. It is a terrible feeling, but it is also necessary to wake you up from this madness.
Academic culture is getting ridiculous
I come from a country, and a context where people are incredibly competitive. It is no surprise, that in an uncertain economy with high levels of inequality and so few opportunities openly available (plus the fact that Gen Z is set to become the poorest generation living on a warming planet), this is the case.
People as young as those in 12th grade are already having existential crisis worrying about what career to pursue, finding their purpose in life, or achieving “enough-ness” having the same levels of stress as that of a single parent with five children.
People join clubs and societies in university not because they actually have interest, but rather because they want to stat-pad their resume and CV with all sorts of “experience” to provide the idea that they are indeed enough and capable. What ends up happening is a university student interest culture that’s full of toxicity.
Classes become incredibly competitive, and students become extremely petty. Instead of fostering collaboration, a culture of toxic competition and shaming reigns supreme.
The problem
Everyone is in a rush, and do you know what happens when everyone is in a rush?
Everyone begins to feel pressured (since nobody likes the thought of being left behind), and begins to adapt unrelenting belief systems and habits that begin a cycle of rushing through life.
This can manifest itself in many symptoms. Among these include lashing out, anger management problems, constant anxiety, a low mood or depression that you can’t seem to pinpoint the cause, an inclination for social isolation, inability to express emotion, fear of expressing yourself, and many more.
My advice to you, and what I learned
Slowing down may be the hardest thing to do, but my intention is for you to not have painful regrets at the end of your life. According to the book Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware, the top five regrets people often have are:
- I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
- I wish I didn’t work so hard
- I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
- I wish that I had let myself be happier
Remember, this is your life. Choose wisely, and please choose yourself for once.
I’ve had many episodes of ups and downs throughout my life, and I also admit to being caught in this whole rat-race of a human race. But that’s the thing; it isn’t a race, and it doesn’t matter if you have figured things out already. In honesty, what does “figuring things out” even mean?
Intention is the key. When you’re about to embark or engage in something, it is a good idea to ask yourself, what am I doing this for?
- Am I doing it because I really want to;
- or am I doing this because I want to be enough?
The chase for enough-ness is the problem. Every man is happy until happiness suddenly becomes a goal. Every man is enough until we suddenly chase after it.
Also ask yourself — who am I competing against? is there actually an audience I’m proving myself to, or is it all in my head?
You are enough, and you have something beautiful to offer the world. You may not believe it now, but it is the truth.
“Life happens pretty quick. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it” — Ferris Bueller
